Dear Doctor, I do not really have a problem. The big issue is that I do not talk much and I smoke. I do not fix the problem I just apologize. My wife does not want to work. When I am at work she phones me and talks about her mother, and when I get home she just watches TV right up until two in then morning! It does not matter whether I am there or not, it makes no difference. If she had just left the thing about smoking it would have gone away. I only started again because of all the stress. We never finish a thing, never clear up an argument. That is the big issue, we do not talk much and I want to enjoy my weekends not listen to her moaning at the TV. It seems that I am just there to bring in the money, but then what is she there for? It should be a two way trade. We are not married and she has a child from her last marriage which I also pay for. What is the answer? What should I do? Hennie.

Dear Hennie, It seems a simple issue to me, you have the choice between keeping the lady and all the benefits which come from that relationship, but then you have to say goodbye to your friends the cigarettes. Or you say goodbye to your good friends, they will have to burn without you, and keep the lady. Of course one benefit in keeping your friends is that they do not watch TV! You will also be free of your lady´s child. However what about negotiating? If what you say is true then just tell her get out and earn some money and she can keep the TV. Further negotiation can take place concerning such things as giving up smoking your friends provided she makes you feel loved in any way you may decide. You could be on to a good thing here! Enjoy.