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by
05 February 2010
“Book into a clinic for sex addicts!”
Dear Fever,
An examination of President Zuma’s love life reveals that he has been married five times and has a fiancé hovering in the wings. Two or three years ago he had unprotected sex with a casual overnight visitor who happened to be HIV positive; and has again had unprotected sex with another daughter of another old friend.
This raises the question of whether he, like Michael Douglas and Tiger Woods, is addicted to sex? Would it be wise for President Zuma to book into a clinic for sex addicts?
I recall seeing a photograph of J.Z wearing aclergyman’s dog collar after being made a sort of honorary priest by the assembled clergy. I wonder if he is familiar with 1 Corinthians 6:18 which reads in the King James Version, “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.”
With four wives, one fiancé and two known casual encounters, infidelity is a ten letter word; there is still scope for more dangerous liaisons. President Zuma seems to have spent most of his adult life living beyond his means but surviving with a little help from his friends. This begs the question, who is going to foot the huge bills involved in paying for maintenance, housing, medical aid and education of all known 20 children and several wives?
Dave Snashall
Uvongo
Murder and mayhem threatened
Dear Fever,
I am at the end of my tether. I baked over the weekend and left my kitchen door open for a few minutes. I left the kitchen and coming back, surprised about twenty monkeys, eating the rusks that have just come out of the oven and which I have covered with a table cloth.
Apart from this, they have defecated and urinated everywhere, leaving me to clean up the mess they left behind.
I had to get rid of the three pans of rusks that I’ve baked because the monkeys ripped pieces out of the pans and were chewing with (I am sure I saw it) upmost pleasure. I chased the monkeys with a broom, the only thing that I could lay my hands on, uttering the most blood curling shrieks (which brought my husband to the kitchen), but they had the audacity to come back again and again to see what I’ve done with the rest of it. It would seem that I came back too soon, they had quite a bit to go still.
For quite a while thereafter, I’ve planned various manner of murder, but I’m not amused. It’s hot and I have to open up my house for some fresh air. Any comments from the so-called animal lovers?
Fed-up
Munster
Monkey puzzle needs solution
Dear Fever,
I wish to comment on the statement issued by the senior conservation officer for the area from Hibberdene to Port Edward, Mr Peter Massyn, during an interview with Elaine King.
He drew an analogy between the problem of the monkeys on the South Coast and the bush pig invasion on the farms. However, what he failed to inform the reader is that farmers are empowered to shoot the bush pigs and so rid themselves of these animals.
According to Mr Peter Massyn, farmers are permitted to shoot vermin - on farms, monkeys are classified as vermin. As a conservation officer, he should seek a practical solution for the monkey problem and not merely state that South Coast residents “have to share their space with the monkeys”.
No doubt he does not rely on produce from his garden to supplement a meagre income - as do the pensioners. How would he react if, after tolling for more than seven hours, exhausted, in the hot sun, weeding, watering, tending fruit and vegetables, he woke up the following day and discovered that all this work was in vain due to the theft or destruction of the produce by the monkeys, leaving his diet deprived of fruit and vegetables?
Arrnin Keller
Uvongo
Dube an inspiration
Dear Fever,
I read with interest the story of Brian Dube. He is indeed progressing in life. I would just like to let him know that as a Communication Science student I feel truly inspired by his progress and I know a lot of other people who are motivated by him. Brian, you have no doubt made your mark. You’re proof that only the sky is the limit. 2010 has indeed started on a good note for you. I would also like to take this opportunity to wish you well in your endeavours.
Bheki Ngcobo
Margate
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