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by
05 February 2010
Uyazi uke ubukele ubone ukuba lusizi lodwa olu lwezintwana uNkulunkulu aye azisikelele zibe nezithuthi zisencinane. Because itshamba liyazigqiba zakushaya amankwebevu zibona nepavi if not gorgeous chicks, kuvele ubuntwana buvuke bume ngeenyawo. Uyoshaya zidudla, ikhalise ma-pipe apho isuka khona iyindizise kukhale amakhwelo. Shame on you lities. Over the weekend besizi-blomele ekasi nama-outie, kwethu iGolf emnyama indiza. We moved where we were blomming because there was no signs ukuthi iyakuma. Kanti uzakumisa, kwaphuma umfanyana omnye ogqoke ikepisi walibhekisa ecaleni, uyavuya because some guys praised him ukuthi he can drive. HOO, bhatata. Babengathi bayamthuma kuba ebengena engenile kuyo ayibethe inciphe phakathi kwezitrato zaseNgaru. Cabanga ke kudlala abantwana kwezo ndawo. We tried to warn him because sibadala siyabazi ubungozi bala nto, umtshana uvele wathi le i-golf seyimazi. Shame, nkosi. We are still maintaining that warning litie, that is a car, a combination of iron and stills not a human being and uma ishayisa akuzo-rubber intsimbi ziyagoba. You are still young and you are not Alonso lo wemidyarho yeemoto. What you are doing, you are not well trained for it.
It was unbelievable, to see is’kunya-kunya inteshe irhuqeka eluthululini
Dear readers, you will remember when we were warning you about the ATM syndicate which dominate i-UTA. In this scam many people lost thousands of rands. Come duze, sikuxelele indaba ezi ungazaziyo. We were driving our old turu-turu near Northcrest Spar when we saw a group of people bequmbene. Because sizithanda kabi iindaba we went there just to check what was happening. We saw a stout-very-decent guy, well dressed lying down kucaca nje ukuba inyathelwe kanobom kuba ibisele imaboko-boko ebusweni. Ibilele ingathi seyiyibekile inqawa kanti udyalalashe onkone yindlela azama ngayo ukuzisindisa. We tried to inquired ukuthi bekusenzekani. You know what, it is alleged that the guy ibanjwe izama uku-robber omnye umntu kwi-ATM. As we speak now the guy is behind bars. Kona-kona asingobantu abathanda into enokubetha phakathi, mara the guy besinqwena ukuba bake bathi ukuyinyathela very strong because it’s not nice what they are doing. We remember the time when we saw a certain lady at Mthatha Plaza kubonakala ukuba umqondo awusasebenzi because bamthathele around R10 000 cash from the ATM machine. If justice system can allow us as a gossip team to prosecute him inene angawukhomba umzi onotywala because he will never see the sunlight again. Be careful ke dear readers because it may happen ukuthi is not only that guy, there are some whom they are still roaming around, so don’t be a victim.
Ise ingathi ngoku ama-outie azakutya amatye abe zingwenya
We know ukuthi you are calling us oondaba zabantu but ke it does not matter kuthi because to gossip is our daily bread and it controls our blood vessels. If you need to know izinto go out there uzakuzibona or hlala apho thina sikuzele nazo and we will not charge you even a single cent. Did you know ukuthi most of mnandi chicks here in UTA sebe crosse i-floor meaning that they are in love with other chicks. Ubuza ukuba kutheni? Kuthiwa the outies babophula intliziyo and the life in this field of life personally it’s like paradise. Kanti others who spend weekends at ebumnandini say guys akankali kanti these ladies who are the men in this field bankala ukodlula namadoda lawo kakade. Ubukwazi ke lokho nazo siziphaka zishushu sizizise kuwe uyakuzipholisela. Akukho nto i-wrong nina good ladies because umntu uphila daai mpilo afuna ukuyiphila. Pho yindaba kaba. Majimbos here is an advice; treat your women like queens kungenjalo nakutya amatye okweengwenya, ladies of the soil are out there to capitalise on your mistakes.
Utywala ayontanga yakho ntwana
Sizwa ngamahem-hem ukuthi ezi ntwana zifundayo do not attend school during the first few weeks after schools opening whereas we warned them about the danger of mixing business with pleasure. You find them in bars (komam´ uyandichaza). Ufika bedakiwe uthole ukuthi umuntu akasazi nokuthi ungubani. They do all this at a very young age and at a very bad timing.
This is the time that they should be spending at home reading their books not on booze.
The gossip team could not believe their eyes when they saw a teenage "boy" edakwe ngathi yindoda enamava etywaleni. Xa umjonga you would swear ukuba yindoda engenamfazi engabuzwayo nokuba ibilelephi! He was crossing eMadeira ekhweza ngeSutherland engakwazi nokuhamba oku. Le ntwana ibinxibe itracksuit ye-Nike emnyama neT-Shirt e-yellow yeKaizer Chiefs. Eyona nto ibisenza iintloni yeyokuba he was going with a guy that was older than him
and inguye ebebanjiwe exakwe kuhamba instead of him holding ubhuti wakhe. When he was crossing he was nearly hit by a car and he did not seem shocked. We swear if he was at school such a bad luck incident would not have happened. Uyawazi ke uMthatha ngezinto! Everyone was watching and others were shocked besithi "hayi kuyagwetywa!". Uze wazi ke ntwana apho ukhoyo ukuba if you continue like this uyakulicula elakuthi "kiss" okanye uyakuyicula
la ngoma sasiyicula after noticing that we wasted our time. The song is "Ndiyaliiila ndililel´ ixesha lam". |
